GEOFF STEURER, MS, LMFT

Question

I just barely found out that my wife had been promiscuous with her neighbor right before we began dating. She had just divorced her husband, and in a matter of days, she was already involved with someone else. I really had hoped that this “church girl” I thought I was married to was not so promiscuous as I’ve now learned she was in her younger ...

Question

Is there a dividing line between loving or helping our neighbor and being taken advantage of? Our neighbor drives old cars and calls us whenever he breaks down, even in the middle of the night. My husband always goes and helps him, but I’m starting to feel we are being used.

Answer

You’re asking an important question that confronts all of us ...

Question

Our relationship seems to always be feast or famine. We’ve talked about it on multiple occasions, yet we continue to be stuck in this pattern. Surely it must be indicative of something. It certainly doesn’t seem healthy, even for a marriage recovering from betrayal. What can we do? 

As an example, in terms of physical intimacy we might go stay...

Question

After 25 years of marriage, my husband put a code on his phone and won’t let me know it. It’s now been 11 months, and whenever I say anything about it, he gets upset. When he initially did it, he said it’s either going to make or break the marriage, but he’s prepared for any outcome. This really hurts. How should I handle it? 

Answer

It’s und...

Question

I have been married to the most patient, kind, loving, gentle man I’ve ever met for almost 10 years. When we first were married we were very active with our sexual intimacy, but as time has gone on and a few kids later, work, school, depression medications – I just don’t feel like being intimate very often. I could honestly go a month and not b...

Question

My 74 year-old wife has recently been diagnosed with cancer that has spread. She is receiving a lot of medical attention and care. Unfortunately, it seems that this disease will ultimately take her life. 

My wife is a brave and courageous woman. She is also loved and respected by three generations. The thing is, I’m not brave, and I’m having t...

Question

My husband’s older sister was widowed two years ago. She has no children and no other siblings. Prior to this, she would barely give my husband and me the time of day. However, since being widowed, she had bonded to us like cement!

We were there for her throughout the initial difficulties, but now my husband has made himself more than availabl...

Question

My son is 40 years old, an alcoholic and is separated from his wife. He is also having financial issues. He can work from home, so he came home to stay with us so he can regroup. We told him he could stay, but he couldn’t drink in our home. Evidently, that rule was broken the first day he came. 

We have helped him with his bills and moving exp...

Question

My wife and I have been married for many years, and we have a large and loving family. However, our relationship has always been somewhat distant and shallow, even as newlyweds, since we dated and married fairly quickly. I have taken responsibility for this, as I’ve never been good at relationships and have always defaulted to sulking and victi...

Question

I am currently in a relationship in which we have been dating for six months. A few months ago, we were talking about marriage, and there were times I felt like it could work and times where I felt sincere doubt about that choice.

I’ve sought confirmation from God that it’s right, and I’ve felt good about the relationship. I feel like there ar...