My impression of my wife was wrong, and I don’t feel like I’m special to her

q&a with geoff Jul 28, 2020

Question

I just barely found out that my wife had been promiscuous with her neighbor right before we began dating. She had just divorced her husband, and in a matter of days, she was already involved with someone else. I really had hoped that this “church girl” I thought I was married to was not so promiscuous as I’ve now learned she...

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Q&A with Geoff: What is the difference between helping and being used?

q&a with geoff Jul 23, 2020

Question

Is there a dividing line between loving or helping our neighbor and being taken advantage of? Our neighbor drives old cars and calls us whenever he breaks down, even in the middle of the night. My husband always goes and helps him, but I’m starting to feel we are being used.

Answer

You’re asking an important question that...

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Illuminate: Amy Harman - Making peace with your body - Episode 63

illuminate podcast Jul 20, 2020

I interview Amy Harman, LMFT about the challenge of making peace with our bodies in a body-obsessed and pornified culture. In this interview, we cover: 

  • The definition of good body image
  • How poor body image really isn't about our bodies
  • How poor body image impacts men and women
  • How we develop poor body image
  • The first steps to changing poor body...
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Q&A with Geoff: How can my husband and I get out of our ‘feast and famine’ pattern?

q&a with geoff Jul 17, 2020

Question

Our relationship seems to always be feast or famine. We’ve talked about it on multiple occasions, yet we continue to be stuck in this pattern. Surely it must be indicative of something. It certainly doesn’t seem healthy, even for a marriage recovering from betrayal. What can we do? 

As an example, in terms of physical...

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Q&A with Geoff: Should I expect to know my husband's phone code?

q&a with geoff Jul 16, 2020

Question

After 25 years of marriage, my husband put a code on his phone and won’t let me know it. It’s now been 11 months, and whenever I say anything about it, he gets upset. When he initially did it, he said it’s either going to make or break the marriage, but he’s prepared for any outcome. This really hurts. How should I...

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Q&A with Geoff: My husband discovered he has a 32-year old son and I have so many questions

Uncategorized Jul 10, 2020

Question

I have been married for more than 20 years and have four children ages 11 to 25. A few months ago, my husband found out that he has a 32-year-old son who has been looking for him since 2010. My husband said that he had a girlfriend back in 1988, and apparently, she got pregnant and did not inform him because they eventually broke up and she...

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Illuminate: Jessica, Matt and Steve - Peaceful co-parenting after divorce - Episode 62

illuminate podcast Jul 06, 2020

I continue my interview with Jessica, Matt, and Steve from the podcast, "Husband in-law", where they get specific about how they've created a peaceful post-divorce co-parenting relationship. They are all committed to showing up in this co-parenting relationship to put their daughter first by building respectful relationships with each other.

Some of...

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Q&A with Geoff: How often should I be sexually intimate when I don’t feel like it?

q&a with geoff Jun 30, 2020

Question

I have been married to the most patient, kind, loving, gentle man I’ve ever met for almost 10 years. When we first were married we were very active with our sexual intimacy, but as time has gone on and a few kids later, work, school, depression medications – I just don’t feel like being intimate very often. I could honestly...

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Illuminate: Jessica, Matt and Steve - Creating a healthy post-divorce relationship with your ex - Episode 61

illuminate podcast Jun 19, 2020

Steve and Jessica were happily married for seven years until Steve came out as gay which inevitably ended in divorce. Now, Matt and Jessica have been happily married for six years.  Now the three of them have a co-parenting relationship and friendship that, by most standards, would be considered atypical. Sharing stories of love, marriage,...

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Q&A with Geoff: My wife is dying and I'm a mess

q&a with geoff Jun 18, 2020

Question

My 74 year-old wife has recently been diagnosed with cancer that has spread. She is receiving a lot of medical attention and care. Unfortunately, it seems that this disease will ultimately take her life. 

My wife is a brave and courageous woman. She is also loved and respected by three generations. The thing is,...

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